Friday 5: Corny English Class Jokes and Puns

Earlier this week, two students spent a study hall period covering Jason Griffith’s white board with corny English class jokes and puns that they curated from Twitter, Tumblr, Google, and even from a few witty classmates. After PCTELA VP Kate saw the puntastic picture he posted to Facebook, she asked us to contribute today’s Friday 5.

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From Jason: I challenged my classes to add more jokes and puns which grew the list to sixteen. Yesterday, students voted to choose the top five.

Though some of my favorites didn’t make the list (Did you hear about the indecisive rower who couldn’t choose either oar?… Why was the schwa (Ə) so happy? Because it was never stressed… Why did the English teacher never write with her left hand? She was always right), these five are definitely corny.

Here they are in count-down order to the most popular:

5. My obsession with Harry Potter has gotten a bit riddikulus. It’s a Sirius problem.

4. Honestly, everyone should leave poetry to the prose.

3. What did the fragment tell its therapist? I feel incomplete.*

2. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

1. Why are writers always cold? They’re surrounded by drafts.

     *This one was written by Ally L from Mr. G’s Period 3!

What are some of your favorite corny English class jokes and puns? Add them in the comments below.

PCTELA member Jason Griffith teaches 10th-grade English at Carlisle High School. A National Board Certified Teacher and a National Writing Project fellow, Jason currently serves on NCTE’s Middle Level Section Steering Committee and the Capital Area Writing Project’s Leadership Team. In 2012, he was awarded NCTE’s Edwin A. Hoey Award for Outstanding Middle Level Educator in the English Language Arts. Follow Jason on twitter @JGriff_Teach or visit him at  His last post on PCTELA’s blog “The Greatest English Teacher Ever,” was one of our most popular posts here.

Friday 5: Corny English Class Jokes and Puns

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